Desert Hiking
I live in an area that is basically reclaimed desert. It is the Mid-Columbia area of Washington State. When we first moved here I hated it. The ecologist in me hated the fact that we have lawns and non-native trees that we have to use precious water to irrigate. At the time the envioronmentalist part hated the nuclear plants that were being built. And definitely I found it hard to communicate with many of my conservative friends.
Thinking back part of my not liking it here was that I was transplanted from a very different environment. Originally from New York, I had spent the prior 3 years in Tacoma and the west side of the state. I also was home with 2 young children and longing for things I enjoyed.
28 years later I love it here. I have found friends who are trying to make a difference. I like the small town atmosphere and low traffic. The weather always cooperates for flying. And hiking. I thought this place was devoid of hiking spots. But a little exploration opens up beautiful desert vistas. THe Columbia National Wildlife Refuge above Othello has some wonderful year round hiking trails.
Thanksgiving Day and this past Saturday I hiked up
Badger Mountain. Hardly a mountain by any standards - but a beautiful hill. Last year at this time we were quite proud to be able to contribute to a campaign to save the top. Since then the Washington Trails Association lent their help to build a trail to the top. It replaces the old, rutted, very steep trail we used to hike up. And the most fun of this very nearby hike is seeing the trail get so much use. I have hiked it 3 times in the last week. I have seen probably a dozen people I know on it and many I did not know. From the top, to the south and west, are many new vineyards. To the East are the Blue mountains. And north one is looking out over the Columbia River and seeing the area that Lewis and Clark came upon.
I always said I wanted to live near a library and a mountain when I retired. I pictured the mountain with lots of trees and birds. Instead I have Badger. No trees but covered in the spring with balsam root and phlox. And maybe a rattlesnake or two!
Dancing
Last night we went dancing. We usually go at least once a week. I think this is an activity that a lot of retired people take up. Actually we have always enjoyed dancing. I still have a "dance card" from a dance in 1962 that featured Dave Brubeck's band.
When we were taking lessons a number of years ago we had an instructor that insisted that you change partners although he guaranteed he would send you home with who you came with! We found that changing partners was the best way to learn, learning leading and following, and to just have fun. And when we go out dancing we have found a whole new set of friends both single and married. It takes me a while to get my dancing shoes on and in that time my husband has gotten in several dances. Often I dance with young men and I think they feel less intimidated - the pressure is off to impress.
The one thing that I think is great about dancing is that it is a socially acceptable way to get close to others. Whether you are married or single that is important.
What kind of dancing do we do? Swing is my favorite especially West Coast Swing. In the West Coast Swing you can flirt and play a little. And there are so many moves, one can never be bored. We also like Latin dances because there is movement. And a good slow dance is soooooooo nice.
Thanksgiving is a Family of Friends
I just put a counter on this blog but nothing is being recorded - I would think my own accesses would be there. Hmmm. Not sure what is wrong. Just a virtual blog I guess.
The good news on this family holiday is that my first call in a year to my sister Kathleen went very well. She was in her upbeat manic mode and sounded good. I was nervous before and after the call but all went well.
And it is amazing to have friends who just all come together. I said no earlier to an invitation from John and Pauline as I was hoping we would get away - maybe even a trip to Seattle. Due to a car accident and bad weather, we decided to stay home. I invited a single friend over. I put my turkey in a brine overnight. Then I called Pauline this morning and said "let's do a hike at 1." She was all for it and told us of changes in their plans as their daughter and her husband were not coming. So with lots of food between all of us, we will all go hiking and then meet at Pauline's house for dinner. No family but a family of friends.
Thanksgiving
For the last 10 years we have had Thanksgiving with friends. Usually it has been at our house and we have had others over who, like us, live far away from family. I remember special times with Pat, with our Australian friend Al, with Cathy and Kar Wei - both from Malaysia. Last year we spent the holiday with Chinese friends at their house. I am always so thankful for many wonderful friends.
This year I turned down an invitation hoping that we would just get away. I would have liked to have seen our son who lives about 300 miles away but the mountain pass is very dangerous with rock slides right now and even the governor has started urging people not to use it. So yesterday - faced with the holiday here - I asked some others over. So far at least one person is coming so we won't be alone.
But I am still lonely at this time of year. I miss our sons and the grandchildren. I miss my mother-in-law who will be enjoying the day in Pa where she lives. I miss my sister Sandra who lives in Georgia. She will spend the day with her boyfriend. And I miss my other sister, Kathleen, who lives in Florida with a lady who has been generous enough over the years to provide a home for her. Kathleen has had many problems and has what I would say is a borderline personality disorder (BPD). And I feel guilty I have been unable to provide her with the emotional support and caring that I feel called on to do. Families can be a joy and sometimes a burden. And the holidays bring all that out.
I have been reading blogs from Iraq in an attempt to understand what it is like to live there. And I want to understand the people. I would like to see us leave Iraq and yet I (like many Americans) wonder what would happen if we did. I think this blog addresses this and gives me great hope that if we leave, it will be the right thing.
Working in Retirement
I was talking to a friend tonight who has gone back to work part-time in elementary school administration. She was saying how it helps to make her feel she is doing something worthwhile. Although I did not take it personally, it certainly gave me pause to think about whether what I am doing is worthwhile. Lots of jobs are not worthwhile to me and so for now I am content not to work for pay. I do volunteer whenever I can at things I think are important.
Today I made a meatloaf early in the morning while my husband was at his machine shop class. Then I did my yoga - some simple exercises that have been great at keeping me flexible. After that I prepared a financial statement for a group where I am the secretary/treasurer. Then I thought it was time to get back to my Spanish grammar book - which I did for an hour. By then it was time for Spanish class. Finished that, came home and did my run along the river. It is easy to find things to fill one's day. And I rarely vacuum or clean (and yes I should). I have a long to do list which never gets done.
So back to wondering about working again. I am a person who worked since she was 12! So in one sense this is a fun time but can't get rid of the nagging thought that I need something worthwhile (ie. $$) to do. I am sure this will pass.
Flying
I got my pilot's license in 1993 just after I turned 50. I think that learning something new at an older age is one of the best things one can do for one's self esteem. Even as I write this I am thinking that trying to learn Spanish is not helping my self esteem right now - so it is possible that this doesn't work for everyone or everything!
I learned because I was not enjoying just being a passenger when I went flying with my husband. But I also learned because I was challenged - and not by him. My good friend Anne was taking lessons. When I learned that she was, my first thought was "If she can do it, then so can I!". The process was not easy - I had my moments wondering why I was putting myself through this. But I like learning, I like adventure, and I hate admitting defeat.
Once I got my license, I joined a woman's flying group called the
99's. I had never been in an all women group before - never joined a sorority or anything like that. But this group is wonderful. The women in it cannnot be put in any category. We have one lady who taught both my kids in first grade - and her husband hates to fly. We encourage one another. But most of all we have fun getting away from the routine of life. None of us are what one would call wealthy - but we gladly put other things on the back burner so we can get up in the air.
Our small group does a lot of programs for kids. We take them flying as part of the
Experimental Aircraft Association's Young Eagles program. We put on an education day on Aviation each year - last year over 100 kids participated. We do units in the local AAU's Expanding Your Horizons program. We enjoy this because we feel we are role models and we can show young people some of the options that are out there for them.
One of the best things about our flying group is that I go flying without my husband. After a long marriage, one gets into habits and some of these involve leaning on the other for support. After the investment of time and money learning this skill, I like being able to do it myself. And I still feel that thrill that comes from feeling - I did it!
Walmart and Christmas
I can't believe the uproar over the Walmart decision (before the uproar) to substitute the word
holidays for
Christmas in their store. I would think the religious right would applaud such a decision which begins to remove Christmas from being an endless shopping trip. And from Walmart's perspective it promotes inclusiveness especially in areas of the country where there are other religions than Christianity. I like to ask the question, What would Jesus do?. I think he would be for getting back to the core celebration - of peace, love, community, helping others, giving thanks and including all our neighbors. I just wish Walmart had not backed down.
Barbie
I never had a Barbie - when did they start anyway? But today Anne was on the computer at barbie.com (would you believe?). I mentioned it to my sister when I called her and she suggested I nip that in the bud right now. Of course, I am only the grandmother and not going to do much in a short time. I said I thought the princess stories may be more harmful ie. waiting for the prince to rescue you.
My sister said she heard on NPR that maybe the princess stories are not so bad. It is all about choices and as long as one realizes they have a choice, they may make the right one. So I think I am better off teaching Anne about making choices.
I have had a career, I fly an airplane, I lead hikes, I volunteer and I also knit and sew and cook. I married a prince and my granddaughter knows he is my Prince Charming. He does not rescue me; he encourages me to do all these things.
Grandchildren
I am spending 7 days with the two grandchildren - ages 5 and 2 and a half - while our son and his wife take a much needed vacation. The weather is not real good but probably milder than usual at this time of year in Minnesota. We have gotten out each day to swing and chase leaves and maybe tomorrow will get to the park.
The children's other grandmother lives near here but has never babysat. It is something she has made clear she wants no part of. Like us, these are her only grandchildren. It is perhaps ok as I know, even though she is healthy and the same age as I am, she would have a hard time with them and her patience would leave very quickly. She has not even called while I'm here - that is something I can't understand at all.
I never thought of kids when I first got married. I never even had dolls when I was little. But when they came, I was eager. I loved interacting with them and still enjoy volunteering where I can spend one on one time with children. To me taking care of these grandchildren (especially without the parents around) is a real treat.
Here we have done crafts, made cookies, watch birds and read. We read about the Nutcracker Ballet and then on our one outing to Target we saw some of the characters on display for Christmas. I also read Pinnochio which I worried would be scary - some of these old stories seem so much worse than I remember. But the Little Golden Book edition is condensed enough that it worked out fine. Another delightful book I brought is
Caleb and Kate by William Steig. I had not read it beforehand but it turned out to be excellent.
