Retired Reflections

Reply to Jane

I thought that I would put this reply here instead of in comments to Jane's blog. She posted today on her plans for the future. Simply put (and one should read the whole thing), she is looking for a stress free life which will give her the ability to do things she enjoys doing. And while that sounds like what everyone wants, in truth, that is not the case. Most people in our country do want to make big money and spend it big time. And most people just accept stress as the price.

Jane,

I thought that since I am probably the only one in the family that can look back from the position of a career that paid well, I thought I should weigh in on your blog. I started out to be a high school teacher and student taught high school history. I am not sure I would have made a very good teacher. And I know that I do not (or ever did) know history like your mother does. When I hear her talk about her classes and what she is doing, I am in awe of her. Plus I know she really knows history - must be that insatiable curiosity she has. In any case, the computer world was just taking off and ads for Computer Programmer Trainees attracted me.

I started work programming and hated my first job. I would look up from my desk and see a sea of heads in a very large room - all pouring over coding sheets - that was the way it was in big companies. My next two jobs were far better. I was on my own essentially. And I loved solving puzzles which was what programming was (and still is) about. Time off to raise two kids was good but quite frankly, I missed work. I was lucky and found work near home (5 min). A great job with good people. And I did it all including being on call for systems problems at night to writing performance appraisals.

Your grandmother once said to me, Keep life simple. I always quoted that and tried to incorporate it into my life. It is not easy with so many pulls away from it but I think, in our family, we are more able to do it than most people because we have well grounded values. Big houses and waste are actually abhorrent to us. (And yes I know we have 2 airplanes but lots of recycled parts!)

I think you are wise to identify what you want. I always use to tell workers who asked me for advice (or on those dreaded appraisals) to think of where you wanted to be in 5 years. It doesn't mean you will get there but you have a road map. And most important keep yourself open to change. You have already found that certain kinds of stress do not agree with you and you are smart to know that early on. We too have seen people work in awful circumstances and die with heart attacks or even commit suicide. When George retired at 55, I could hear your grandmother's voice lamenting the fact that I was still working while he was off doing his own thing. Quite honestly, he had a plan and I was enjoying work so it was ok. And he with the phd. (and yes, they are worth something in the sciences) wanted to be a mechanic for awhile. I am so glad he did it at 55 as it does get harder the longer you wait. Now he is going to machine shop classes every day at the local community college - maybe he just loves being a student - which is ok.

I was nervous about my retirement but I decided to just "see what happens" - and every day I now get new opportunities to not just enjoy life but to do meaningful things. I think it has to do with being open to what is out there.

Your cousin, George, does not take stress well either. And for now he likes his low stress job. It gives him time to read and study Japanese which he likes. He is doing ok.

The most important point is that life is short and definitely do not tie yourself in knots with something that you don't like. Trust your gut. And be open to change as I suspect that you will not spend the rest of your life in SE Georgia but maybe it is not a bad starting point. And I don't think you will ever be a hermit. You have good friends who won't let that happen.

Aunt Mary

posted by Mary @ 8:16 AM